Things That Sound Good But Aren’t

Carrying a full keg up 2k vertical feet/3 miles. The idea starts off with good ol’ fashioned backyard engineering and ingenuity. “Just build a wooden platform on skis!” “Make a light metal brake for the rear so it doesn’t slide backwards!” However, the pre-tour optimism quickly gives way to the reality of the physics of moving 150+ pounds of beer and metal up a snow covered hill while already having 35+ pounds of gear on your back.

A well designed failboat

“We’ll just get one person in the harness pulling and have someone in the back guiding” quickly becomes groups of three touring ahead one to two hundred yards, dropping gear and bootpacking back to the last shift. One in front pulling, one on the side guiding (especially during extended sidehills), and one in the rear pushing. All that was missing was the ‘Cool Runnings’ theme song

Think this and you'll be close

As big of a bitch as it was (and it was a massive, mustached Amazon of a bitch that was also PMSing) it was probably the most fun I’ve had on a tour as we all came to grips with the fact that it wasn’t going to be easy so we might as well have fun with it. Only thing left to do is go fetch the empty keg from the hideout in the woods later this week.

Keg camo

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