How To: Make Your Own Cucumber® Wax Remover

Probably old news to you grizzled vets of all things off-the-couch, but as I’d never seen/heard (nor considered) how to make something similar to the Pickle Wax Remover®. I’m a lazy ding fixer aka just slap one of those Quik ding stickers over any dings, top it with some duct tape and call it good, but as the last time I surfed one of my boards I could feel an old glass job fix I did flexing decided I’d get two of my neglected steeds ready for some fiberglass lovin’ this week – thus the need for the homegrown Cuke®.

Yeah, you can scrape your board down, but that still leaves a lot of residue that isn’t ideal for adhesion, and as some of these dings are on the rails/nose I need to be able to tape off up and over the board. Yeah, you can leave your board in the sun and just let the wax run off, but as it was shaded where I was scraping that wasn’t going to work either. So anyways, on to how to make your very own Zucchini® wax remover. Note: this is damn easy so didn’t take step by step pics. If you’re too dumb to figure it out from the directions and the photo you probably shouldn’t be playing in water without a lifevest on anyways.

Materials needed: pair of pantyhose and some flour or foam dust (I used flour since I don’t have foam dust)
Step 1: Tie off one end of pantyhose, if not already sealed on one side (i.e. if you’re using an old pair that broke off)
Step 2: Fill with desired amount of flour. You’ll want to make it sized so it’s comfortable to hold, and as you’ll be losing flour as it removes wax it’s OK to add a bit more than you think you’ll need. You can go Cucumber®, Zucchini®, Delicata® – hell go Watermelon® – just pick a fruit or vegetable and get your pantyhose fill on!
Step 3: Tie off top end of pantyhose to hold in the flour

BOOM! You’re done. Now go get your Karate Kid on and wax off.

The Cucumber (not ®) Wax Remover

20 feet of wax makes a nice summertime snowman®

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